Theres a Hole in the Sky

One of my Favourite Tree Ornaments, Clifford!

2010-12-05T12:55:00.001-08:00

It's Hot Outside

2010-08-31T10:50:00.001-07:00

Today would be one of those days, if I were eleven again, where my sister and I would set up the sprinkler in the backyard, lay out our towels on the grass, and bring out our favourite books while we pretended to be at the beach. Perhaps I'll do it anyways.

-Jo

J'aime Tricoter

2010-08-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

It feels like fall is nearly here at last. It's as though summer, with all it's sunshiny days, bored kids that stay at home, and students who have just hit a turning point in their summer jobs where they're starting to find it boring, has finally seen the benefits of turning over a new leaf and has let a hint of autumn freshness reach us. I can now eat my steaming bowl of tomato soup in peace. Think I just followed a run-on sentence with a out-of-the-blue advert for Campbell's Soup? Think again. The Soup is Great Value brand. But in all honesty, I'm stoked that it's almost time for me to wear sweaters and scarves and drink tea without breaking out in a sweat. Please find above a photo of my new favourite pastime: Knitting. Useless as it may be, I'm now one step farther in my Christmas gift-ing than you are.

Ce que j'ai fait ce printemps...

2010-07-01T06:36:00.001-07:00

An Old Feeling About Colour

2010-06-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

être dans les patates.

2010-06-02T19:20:00.000-07:00

"I sank down to the very roots of the mountains.

I was imprisoned in the earth,

whose gates lock shut forever.

But you, O Lord my God,

snatched me from the jaws of death!

As my life was slipping away,

I remembered the Lord.

And my earnest prayer went out to you

in your Holy Temple"

Jonah 3:6&7

Summer again just a few posts later...

2010-05-05T15:29:00.001-07:00

Steps to Simplify My Life

2010-03-16T16:11:00.001-07:00

Step 3: clean my room and get rid of everything useless and then some.

...this is going to be harder than I think. It's easy to justify keeping something useless.

Example 1: "I'd like to someday pass this onto my kids"

Example 2: "maybe a year from now this shirt will look better on me"

Example 3: "I go through stages. I might appreciate this later"

Example 4: "without this sitting on my bookshelf my room won't be as interesting"

At the Well

2009-07-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

A strange thing is happening to me.

I'm beginning to like Rexdale.

This Be What We Do...

2009-05-28T08:30:00.001-07:00

...We Be Jammin'

If I learn one thing from a book I'm pleased

2009-04-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

You all probably knew this already, but it's something that I think I've been missing for a while...

I remember when I was around 12 or so I saw a sign in the front window of a lingerie store that said "God is Love". I was offended at the time but didn't understand why, I just felt like I should be. I guess I thought that the reference to lingerie was a little disrespectful. But I think I understand the phrase now. I still don't really like how they turned God into politics, but that's not the point here.

I guess it first hit me when I read the real thing in the Bible. There it was, "God is Love". Then at least I could be certain that the phrase was sound. But one day I was teaching a kid's club and used that phrase. I was a little suprised but I felt God just using my words there. It suddenly hit me that that doesn't mean God just knows how to love, heck, He created love and is the very definition of it. So I ran with that thought for a while.

I think a problem hit when I started to think that God was trying to tell me that all the relationships I was surrounded by weren't perfect because my relationship with Him wasn't perfect. I got this twisted idea that when I had learned to make God first in my life, then all the other relationships would fall into line (Maybe that would really happen, but I wouldn't know since I haven't gotten there yet). So anyhow perhaps you can see how thinking like that all the time would start to kind of mess with your head after a while. Because it's not humanly possible for me to make God first all the time. I guess I can through His strength, but I'm not perfect and haven't mastered that yet.

So a new thought hit me recently. Maybe I have it backwards. Maybe, God has given me all these imperfect relationships to teach me love. Because when you care about somebody, not only does it mean you have to love them, you have to be able to receive their love in return. This was an entirely new thought to me. If I can learn from relationships how to both give and receive love, then maybe I can almost maybe kind-of start to fathom how a relationship with God ought to look like. Maybe.

Masterpiece

2009-03-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

-Ephesians 2: 10

Maybe part of our journey is figuring out what colours He gave us and how to use them?

Muse

2008-11-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

When tragedy strikes:

'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

-Anne Graham

I struggled with this, here's what I've got.

I'm reminded of the narration of a lover courting his darling. He dotes on her day and night, cares for her, teaches her, loves her, and she sends him packing. He leaves with an aching and dejected heart, and watches from afar as she drives herself into the ground single-handedly. He reaches out a hand to her, leaves his door unlocked, keeps a candle burning in his window, but she's stubborn. She forgets him, makes love to haters and dances with the devil. Only when she falls on the dance floor and sees the crystal shattering around her, does she remember her lover. And like Scarlett O'Hara she races through the streets, steadily upwards towards his house. Her feet grow weary, her knees buckle, and she falls. With her last strength she lifts her lowly head and gazes up at his house so distant, but the light is gone from his window. Her head drops dejectedly as she reminisces of the good times past. As she concludes that her lover has finally left, a foot appears before her. Her eyes wander until she is gazing into the loving eyes of him, the candle light he brought to meet her illuminating his merciful face. his one hand remains outstretched towards her and she takes it. He easily raises her up, and supporting her with one arm, flicks out small specks of shattered crystal in her hair. Then he smiles at her and kisses the tears on her cheek.

Not overly original, I think theres something like this in the Bible called the Prodigal Son. Ah well, I think I'm done for a while - cheers.

Does it really.

2008-11-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

You're there three times a week,
but really only maybe once.
That other thing, that other person,
it isn't really working out the way it should.
I had a plan 3 years ago for him,
maybe it wasn't His though.

Was this His idea? I guess it must have been.
Last week I was asked if my refrigerator was running,
too bad I ruined his joke by stealing the punchline.
It isn't working the way I thought it should.
Am I missing His message the way they are?
I hope not, that's scary.

I saw three today,
They looked happy,
I felt sad.
making bad choices
take a while to get over.

and for the optimism because the pessimism is old.

Mercy,
I deserved it
but He didn't give it,
Thankyou.

Grace,
I didn't deserve that did I?
He handed it over,
Thankyou.

Be ...

2008-10-26T09:43:00.001-07:00

I was thought to be,

planned to be

born to be,

made to be,

desired to be,

hoped to be and

willed to be,

wished to be,

killed to be,

brought to be,

called to be,

asked to be,

envited to be,

chosen to be,

feared to be.

Autumn is arriving on the bunker of a freight car.

2008-09-18T13:35:00.000-07:00

How many days till we kiss goodbye the season of summer? I can't wait. I've come to finally embrace my true colours... fall, or maybe winter ...I can't decide. Although in all fairness, winter doesn't really have much colour to it... just various shades of white. There's off white...cream...gray...etc. So I guess it's settled, I love fall. Top ten things I love about fall:

1) The radiant colours tickle me happy.

2) The familiar crunch of leaves beneath your feet.

3) It's acceptable to wear scarves and hats!

4) 'Tis the season of Thanksgiving ...which beats today's superficial Christmas any day.

5) Although I detest the halloween celebrations... I love pumpkin carving ...and roasting pumpkin seeds... and making pumpkin pie! ...What? I don't like wasting pumpkin.

6) It puts me in high spirits... so high that I can actually write up a list of why I love autumn.

7) Your skin feels clearer already... you don't sweat as much, therefore there is less clog-age in your pores:)

8) Not-so-modest girls discover the necessity of wearing clothes for a change...

9) You don't overheat when you drink tea ...Not that that stopped me during the summer

10) Did I mention the colours? And the crunchy leaves? And the breeze that whips your hat off, causing you to run down the sidewalk after it?

Sigh...fall truly is amazing. Perhaps my next entry will be a piece of poetry!

Another year

2008-06-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

So another year has passed, and I'm not really sure if I accomplished anything in it. I don't think I've retained a single thing I've heard in any of my classes, and I think I've gotten even lazier.. which is funny because I didn't think that was at all possible.

So just looking back at gr. 12 and how it's almost over... it feels pretty weird. I think I'm in denial. Oh! We got our letters from gr. 9 yesterday... apparently, I was into making paper stars, and I suck at keeping friends. Although I think my friends group has changed for the better, because I look at who I was friends with back then... and I think it was a waste of my time. Apparently I wanted to be either a photographer or a journalist... so much for that... but I guess I can take comfort in knowing that I can still write and take photos without a university degree, which is good enough for me.

And I've just realized that over this school year... I've barely posted at all. Which is weird because I definitely have lots of things I could say, not that any of you would want to hear it:) 'Tis why I have Kathleen! We vent at eachother a lot:) And I can mention Kathleen in here because I know that if anybody actually comments on this post it'll be her.

Okay so sorry for the sad state of this post, I don't think I said anything substantial at all. Ah well, happy Exam-ing!

-Jo

Today, tomorrow

2008-04-24T14:08:00.001-07:00

Falling fills my mind's eye as the spindly arms stretch out and scratch at my bare arms. I push forward and up, Always up. No matter what, I will go up. I won't look down because I'm afraid to, which is why I have no choice but to continue to steadily rise higher and higher. I feel as if I'm in a different place, rather than in the age old tree growing in my neighbour's yard. Pink like blush fills my vision, this is spring. The huge and milky pink petals of flowers I don't know the name of, softly stroke my cheek before pulling away spontaneously with a deep breath of wind. The sun glares brightly off of the white of the flowers, and into my eyes. I don't open them just yet. I breathe deeply, soaking in the moment. I know it won't last, it never does. Every year my neighbour sweeps up the debris of the radiant tree just days after it first budded. A year before, today, next year, the year after, the buds bloom into the most beautiful creation I've ever seen. The moment is fleeting so I must enjoy it while I can. Tomorrow it will all be gone.

March Break Reflection

2008-04-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

So this is a little late, but I just returned from a retreat with this same organization this weekend... and sharing with the people there reminded me of this testimony I was asked to write a while ago... thought I would share it with you. Enjoy:)

Here goes to Camp Genesis...

When Ivhan first asked me if I would be interested in helping out at a day camp for the week of march break my initial response was naturally, yes! I was, at the time, so completely absorbed in school and work that even the words march and break together in the same sentence together was enough for me to think positively about anything. The night before the camp started, reality hit me. I would be waking up at 7 in the morning every day for the next 5 days.

Now that the 5 days are over I can honestly look back and know how worth it it was. I can clearly see how I was too caught up in school and work. Somewhere along the way I got lost and fell into the habit of working hard with the single purpose of getting good grades to benefit myself. Where, in all of this, was I at all serving the Lord? Camp Genesis to me meant that I wasn't waking up in the morning for my own benefit so much as to serve the Lord in serving others. The more I worked and built relationships with the kids at the camp the more I came to understand the amount of God's love for all His children. Getting good grades in school are a great thing, but if serving in Camp Genesis has shown me anything, it is that striving to work hard is most valuable when I have the purpose of working hard to serve the Lord. Seeing the great responses from the kids after hearing God's love for them has encouraged me to work hard not just for my own sake, but so that I may develop the talents and gifts God has given me to further His kingdom.

So many of the kids at the camp appeared to already have a grasp of who God is, but so few of them seemed to understand that God loved each and every one of them and wants to forgive their sins. I recall one boy during a Bible lesson asking questions repeatedly about sin and how we can be forgiven. While I tried to answer all his questions it dawned on me that what I was doing at that moment was much more important than writing a good essay in english, because at that moment I was being given the opportunity to witness to this child and many others. The work that God did through the staff that week will last much longer and serve such a greater purpose than anything else I so easily get caught up in. Camp Genesis challenged me personally to do all that I do with the purpose of serving my God.

In fact, looking back at all that I just wrote I have to revise the statement: "Camp Genesis to me meant that I wasn't waking up in the morning for my own benefit so much as to serve the Lord in serving others" . While it is completely true, I can now see that in waking up in the morning to serve others God also blessed me by revealing to me a part of His greater plan.

change has a smell

2007-11-13T16:27:00.001-08:00

So it turns out this is a draft I wrote two days after summer holidays started... I just found it interesting because I wrote this based on what I thought this year would be like.... can't decide if it's accurate or not:)

After stepping off the bus i'm reluctant to make the short walk to my house, because that would mean I'm home. That would mean school is over, summer has begun, and that would mean that the next thing I know, I'm in gr. 12 wishing, hoping, trying to make life decisions based on what everybody around me has said. Why? because I can't think for myself anymore. Nobody can make up their mind though! one says i should do one thing, and somebody else says i should do another. I can't pick between either of them, so i keep hoping the two will agree for me. Decisions mean consequences, hypothetically, life might be easier if we let other people make our decisions for us, and just learned to be content. It won't happen though cuz it isn't supposed to. I tried to wear a mask, it had poka dots and bright stripes, but it just didn't quite fit so i gave it back to it's creator. then I went home. But before I placed the key in the lock and opened the doorway, i sat down outside it, and read the paper. I think somebody died yesterday, but i couldn't tell based on what the picture caption read, and I didn't bother to open to page 3 to find out. I was too enthralled by the article about the time capsule found. Now I feel guilty and curious. It's windy out, kinda like it should be fall, but fall is scary because thats when school starts, so I shut all the windows and doors and try to suffocate myself in heat and still air. Now I'm here, hoping/praying things work out for the best. I'm not good at doing the faith walk, but i'm trying. Trying isn't good enough though is it? What happens when we stop trying? would the world crumble?

I wore somebody's shoes

2007-08-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

Wow it feels weird to be back at home... where I'm writing on my blog again...

I wore somebody elses shoes this summer... at least I think I did because they definitely didn't feel like mine. My whole summer basically was something I've never done before, and never had considered doing before... up until two days before I applied to do it.

So basically the purpose of this blog is really to kind of tell you all that I did this summer!

It all started with two weeks of intense training... but the work for me really was more on a personal level, because I found my biggest need for improvement to be my walk with God... In two weeks I would be out in someplace strange to me... to teach children about God, and I had those two weeks with God to assure myself I could do it. It was scary/amazing how much God just took control after that.

Two weeks later I found myself on a plane headed for Thunder Bay with my partner Naomi, and another team of two boys. We were scared crazy because 3 of the 4 of us were completely new at this...

on the monday after our flight... my partner and I showed up for our first backyard club... and were disappointed to see only 4 kids. We were both kind of thinking... "This is it?! this is what we're doing for the next 6 weeks?!" But God helped us through that hour and a half... but left us thinking... "wow how did we do that?" the answer came swiftly enough. WE didn't. About an hour later we showed up at our second VBS for the day... expecting only a few kids as well. I was a little shaken when I was asked for a second attendance sheet as the first one (which held 20 names) was already full! We had a total 31 kids that day! We went home that first day feeling relieved that we had somehow survived, but with the feeling that day one went so well, that day two surely would be worse.

After those first couple days, we kind of fell into a rhythm. We were learning to balance our time so that God was always a priority... easier said than done. It was easy to go to a club/VBS with a "Jesus Smile" on, and we could be very convincing, but when I asked myself the question, "Do I really believe what I'm teaching?" I had to think for a minute. After that I found myself meditating more on what I was teaching the children.

And what a feeling when I saw the results! The first time I had the opportunity to counsel a child, I realized halfway through that I was asking this child vital questions... and when the time came for him to pray for salvation... He wanted me to lead him in it, and I realized that I had no clue what to pray! I quickly said a prayer of my own asking God to quide me and place the words on my lips. He certainly answered that prayer! And going back to what it felt like to know that a child had just asked Jesus to be his Father... it was amazing! Such a thrill! I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time, as well as pick him up and swing him around the room! I was so emotional that night, it was crazy.

It was easy to get discouraged throughout the summer too. It felt for a while like my partner and I had just run dry... we were physically drained, and were getting frustrated when we didn't see the immediate results of what we were doing. But God answered that frustration by showing us how He was really working in the lives of children regardless of whether or not I had seen them pray and envite Jesus in. I saw this in so many ways it's impossible to list them all. Just be assured that He truly did amazing works!

But there are a couple stories I want to share with you so that you can really see how Great our God is! The first one starts with a boy named Simon. At that particular VBS he was our only non-churched child. He came on the second day of VBS for the first time, declaring "This is my first day here, and I'm not coming back!" However he refused to elaborate on his reasons as to why this was. So we began the club which immediately became a challenge with Simon talking through us as he pleased. He was one of the most defiant children I had seen yet this summer. During our theme song, he stood with everyone else, but stuck out like a sore thumb because instead of participating in the actions, he crossed his arms, and glared up at me. After that long VBS, my partner and I, along with our hostess headed home. That night we prayed for Simon, and without recognizing it right away, I realized that God had a plan for Simon. And in the back of my mind I had this glimmer of hope that Simon might be changed. The first 45 minutes of club the next day did not suggest that any immediate change had come over Simon, except for the fact that he had shown up a second time after so clearly stating he wouldn't. He was still a distraction to Naomi and myself, as well as the other children. However when the time came for the Bible Story, he seemed to settle down. And after I had finished the story on Lazarus, I invited any kids who had never made Jesus their savior, and who wanted to do so, to come speak to me or Naomi right after this lesson. At this point Simon raised his hand and said "I never did that yet!" At that point I realized God was handing me this opportunity to speak with him. So right after the lesson I called him over and counselled him. He ended up praying to become a Child of God! Almost immediately I saw a change come over him. The second half of VBS he was quiet and observant, and was helping us quiet the other distracted children. When he did raise his voice it was to ask "are we gonna hear more from that book now?" pointing to the picture book we use as a visual aid to tell the Bible stories.

I was completely blown away by how God had worked in Simon. Unfortunately, after we gave Simon a Bible and said our goodbyes, we never saw him again, as he did not show up the next day or the day after. However I continue to pray for him that God will continue to work in him.

My next story is about Abel, who came from a Christian family, and who had striked me from day one as "the boy who already knows all I'm about to tell him". But I was proved wrong when On the last day he showed up right before snack and handed me a note. I opened it to read "I want learn how to pray" I looked down at him and saw that he really wanted to ask Jesus to be his savior, but had not done so yet. I was thrilled at the opportunity, and immediately spoke with him. He was shy to respond to the questions I asked him, but I got the feeling he really understood. After he asked Jesus to be his savior, I was left sitting there thinking what a blessing it is to work for a God that really loves us!"

...And I still have that note stuck in my Bible as a reminder of what God can really do!

And there are more stories... but these are the ones that stuck in my mind the most, and hopefully reading them, you kind of have a sense of what it is I was doing this summer... or rather, what God was doing this summer!

A Response...

2007-05-23T19:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is a response to a comment made on my last post which is a comment that i've been hearing a lot lately... and it bothers me.

I've been feeling a lot lately that i have to refrain from doing or saying certain things because of a stigma attached to them... allow me to expand.

theres a stigma attached to coffee that if you're a teenager and drinking it, it must mean you want to look either sophisticated or its a public sign that you were up to late.

If you drink tea, you want to look sophisticated... like coffee... but its not as obvious because well... it isn't coffee.

if you say that you don't think anybody reads your blog anymore it must mean your fishing for comments.

If you say you aren't happy with a piece of work you did... you're obviously fishing for compliments.

Okay, so the point of this was... for most, the above statements aren't true... and because of the stigmas attached i feel like people are judging me for say... drinking tea. or i HAVE to praise my own work so i don't look like i'm i'm fishing for compliments... whats wrong with saying you don't think anybody reads your blog anymore... if you really don't think anybody does? And I'm assuming I'm not the only one who thinks this... although perhaps I am, but nope, i think not. Its just that most people i know do the exact opposite of what they want to do, because they don't want to look like they are trying to create their own appearance.

...so i'm not sure if any of what i just wrote makes sense, I'm sure it could be worded better... but for a lack of something better to post, Voila! -- and that does not mean i'm hoping you will all comment that it was "an amazing post" now... if you do, it probably means you missed the point of this blog:P

and i think this blog sounds like i'm angry, i'm not. just wanted to put it out there so i dont' feel dumb for bringing tea to school etc.

A fun for you and me house

2007-03-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

Well i guess seeing as nobody looks at these anymore.. i may as well just ramble however i please! yay!

Once upon a walk, on one fine day, a girl by the name of Johanna stumbled upon what would soon become her means of entertainment for the next 2 hours. Yes, it was a simply built treehouse with little more than a rickey ladder and a platform unsafe to stand on but she loved it the instant her eyes fell upon it.

Climbing the rustic ladder, she found that nothing could be more satistfying than reaching the top as it was not an easy climb, it was rather difficult actually. the rungs were unevenly spaced with equivalent to two large steps in between some, and one baby step between others. Nonetheless she climbed on, only to crawl belly first onto the platform covered in ice and snow.

but when she stood up and surveyed all that she could see from it, she smiled to herself. Behind her all she could see where tall trees that seemed to reach for the sky, and infront of her the trees continued, only a lonely path was visible a hundred or so metres away. On the path she spied an elderly man gliding across the snowy path on skiis, unconcerned with the biting cold and wind.

For a breif moment johanna envied him... but then she remembered she was on top of the world (or so it felt) and she pulled out her camera and snapped tons of pictures instead.

The Master Weaver

2007-02-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

My life is but a weaving

Between the Lord and me;

I many not choose the colors -

He knows what they should be

For He can view the pattern

Upon the upper side

While I can see it only

On this, the under side.

Sometimes He weaves in sorrow,

Which seems so strange to me;

But I will trust His judgment

And work on faithfully.

'Tis He who fills the shuttle,

And He knows what is best;

So I shall weave in earnest,

And leave to Him the rest.

Not 'til the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needed

In the weaver's skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned.

-Author Unknown

Stop filling the silence

2007-01-20T07:50:00.000-08:00

Talking to fill the silence...

its a really dangerous thing,

because it feels awkward when nobody is talking and so you step up to fill the silence

and then you speak without thinking.

...anybody else notice that it often results in you blabbing something either stupid or embarassing?

...ya me too.

Birthday Flowers

2006-12-17T18:27:00.000-08:00

Well this will be my short and sweet blog post... actually i'm only on here to keep my promise to Elena... she told me to take pics of my Birthday Flowers just to annoy John...? apparently he has a problem with flowers:P so here you go lanars!!! by the way... they're totally gorgeous!!! and i haven't killed them yet either!! hooray!! part-ay!!! FLOWER

see the flowers?! do you!?

2006-11-30T15:22:00.000-08:00

Let me ask you a question...

what do you do when your home alone... sitting at your computer with your speakers turned off... and you hear voices coming from them?

...I tried speaking to them but thats just me so what would you do?!

they didn't respond when i tried to carry a conversation with them... but they also were speaking spanish so that could be a problem:S

p.s. ...by the way i'm not crazy because my sister could hear them too:)

2006-11-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

So i went for a walk around the block at night today... it was nice and cold:) but not freeeeezing:) so that was nice. i was enjoying my evening and having absolutely nothing to do with it... i came home and watched a taped episode of veronica mars:) um... then i spent about an hour doing something.. i don't even know what. So anyways heres to walking in the dark:)

It feels dark when you walk out your house

but its actually more like being inside a dimly lit room... cuz streetlights line the roads. at least they do where i live...

and as I start to walk around the block I become somewhat aware that neighbours are peering out their windows to look at me... so i turn and watch them back. ( i wave friendly-like when i'm done)

i get to the street thats across from a park... normally i'm afraid of it but this time i decide to walk into it... and its pretty.

then i walk away from the park but become enchanted by a cool looking tree that i never noticed before.

then i head to the busy street, where the cars keep whipping past me completely unaware.

then i came home, put on my fuzzy slippers and made hot chocolate... and now i'm here:)

...thats it...

2006-11-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

So people have said that I haven't been meeting their expectations... that i'm supposed to be updating this thingy because its why I have it... so here is my update.... you can take it as whatever you want, call it a blog or a rant, i don't care.

Lots of people like to just post songs... or quote famous people... and thats fine with me and i guess its fine with the authors too cuz they havent' sued yet.

I like reading that on other pplz. blogs... but not on mine... when i post i wanna post something worthwhile, something that I enjoy to write as well as read... and i know i have cheated i did post a poem by somebody once... ah well...

so by the way i apologize for my last post which was about fuzzy slippers... while i appreciated all your comments.. i know your all just commenting for the sake of it, cuz really it wasn't a thrilling post... and neither is this one...

it's not that i dont' have anything to say, i have lots to say... i just dont' think you want to hear it:) ...trust me on that.

so if its okay with you, this is my new post and deal with it!

meanwhile heres a pretty picture for you all to look at:)

Fuzzy slippers

2006-11-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

fuzzy slippers are good for all occasions...

If you think you've done it all... so have your slippers. They were there for you for the simplest things... ranging from cold feet to acting as a prop to trip over your own feet "spraining" your ankle so you don't have to go out with your family that night... not that i've ever done that... they always greet me at the door when i return from school...unlike my dog... and they complete the perfect picture when i'm sitting by the fire reading a book and drinking hot chocolate, the snow falling gently outside the window... and they amuse my dog immensely... but not as much as they amuse me... they are a truly weird colour... kinda the colour of the putty i made in chemistry and that fused with my black shirt in my locker over the weekend... but they're also really comfy... not that i get sore feet... and i've had them for a while so they're nicely broken in... better than my dog is...

did that paragraph make any sense to anyone...? it did to me so now i'm happy:)

I hope you enjoyed;) and if you didn't then you need to work on your imagination:) joking...

by the way... i put the rose there cuz i liked it:) i know its random

2006-10-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

What do you do when creativity runs dry?

You draw a ketchup bottle.

I think art has really taught me something,

I'm not sure what it is yet.

I need a theme, any theme,

I don't know what that is yet either.

How do you make a shirt a sculpture???

I'm going to go draw a ketchup bottle now,

maybe my next post will be a sketch of a ketchup bottle.

5 times i started with "I"... my bad

I'll have to go work on that

somebody write and tell me about themselves... randomly...

2006-09-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

And then I fall into a Routine that I can't get used to...

(place inspiration here)

i forgot what i was gonna blog about

heres to a Crabbit Old Woman:

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking when you are looking at me-
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes.
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
when you say in a loud voice- "I do wish you'd try"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe
Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will.
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.
Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurses, you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am, I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat your will.
Im a small child of ten, with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet:
A bride soon a twenty-my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that i promised to keep;
At twenty-five now i have young of my own,
who need me to build a secure happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
bound to each other with ties that should last:
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn:
At fifty once more babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me,
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, i shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel-
tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And i'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few- gone too fast,
and accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open you eyes, nurses, open and see
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer- See ME

(This poem was found amongst the possessions of an old lady who died in the geriatric ward of Ashludie Hospital, near Dundee. There is no information available as to her name, when she died or who she was)

(and I found the newspaper clipping while snooping through my mum's journal0--shh, don't tell)

The fly that is us

2006-08-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

The fly struggled against the silvery web that was it's prison, the spider slowly making it's way towards it.

It appeared as if the fly, after a couple more minutes of struggling, would squirm it's way out of the web, it was being held so loosely.

It fluttered and wriggled, and just as it was about to fly free, the spider came upon it, pinning it down with a thin thread, barely visible.

The fly, suddenly weighed down again, began to struggle profusely, Refusing to give up.

The Web's grip began to loosen just a bit, when the spider came around again, flattening it with another thread, all hope was lost for the fly.

It's wings lay stuck against the silver. It's body ceased to move, it lay broken in spirit, and useless.

The spider continued on it's path until eventually the fly was completely covered, and hidden from sight.

And in the same way we can all be like that fly.

We can get caught in one small sin, which is just enough to weigh us down.

We can struggle until we reach exhaustion, but eventually the sins will build, and we will be so burdened by them we will hardly have the strength to stand.

The only difference between us and that fly, is that we have hope, if we should choose it.

We were given another chance.

-->told by my grandmother to my father as a young kid, enthralled by the struggle of a fly in a spider's web.

I write and the words appear.!$* whoa!

2006-07-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

Okay well I am indeed back... ya after my first entry i did indeed forget both my username and password... and i owe it all to Calida for ...retrieving them for me;) anywayz... blogspot seriously needs a photo album or something:(

Anywayz this i suppose is my first "blog" cuz the tester doesn't count.

It's hot outside, Calida and Eska left FINALLY cept i woulda liked for them to stay but not at my house cuz i hate entertaining at my house. Its dark out, and i feel like sitting outside with a cup of coffee except that it'll crack my tongue which is why i'm moderating the ammount of coffee i drink.

I was recently thinking about Cinderella. ...i wonder, did she get to keep the glass slipper after she married the prince? If I got to keep a glass slipper, I would keep it in a red velvet lined oak box, and i would keep it under my bed... as my "secret". and every now and then I would take it out and thank my fairy god-mother. And maybe i would shed a few false tears just so that she would come calling, to see what was the "matter" and then i would tell her i faked just to see her again, and we would sit and drink tea together.

testing

2006-07-10T17:19:00.000-07:00

why the heck did i just sign up for one of these?